Balancing Dreams with Reality

Can you truly have it all—a thriving career, fulfilling personal life, and peace of mind? Join me, Michael Kane, as I reflect on the balance between chasing dreams and embracing reality. Fresh from a much-needed vacation, I dive into the idea of "healthy obsessions" and how they can shape the way we live. By sharing personal anecdotes, I explore the power of channeling our fixations into positive forces that drive us toward achieving the life we envision. From career aspirations to daily indulgences, discover how these obsessions can motivate and inspire balanced living.

Gratitude and self-care take center stage as I contemplate the necessity of genuine breaks to recharge. Explore with me the art of setting realistic goals without letting go of your dreams, as I unpack the complex dance of balancing career, family, and personal ambitions. Reflecting on Maslow's hierarchy of needs, I underscore the pivotal role of aligning our fundamental requirements with our loftier goals. With heartfelt appreciation for your support, I invite you to join a community of passionate individuals pursuing their aspirations and living life to the fullest. Don't forget to check out my book, "Slaying Your Dragons: Living Life You Always Wanted," for more insights into creating the life you desire.

Chapters

• 0:00 Healthy Obsessions
• 8:33 Balancing Dreams and Reality
• 22:15 Finding Balance in Life and Work

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Well, hello there. This is Living your Success 24-7 with Michael Caine, that's right, with a C, not with a C. Gotta spell my name, get it right. So, anyway, how you doing? I took a break, went on vacation, mellowed out, chilled out, stopped to smell the roses. So I am back, that's right, I am back, I'm back, I'm back. Okay, anyway, enough of that. Anyway, hope all of you are doing really, really, really good.

Speaker 1: 0:37

And this year is zooming by October already, first week of October. So, man, make each day count. That's why I took a little sabbatical. You got to freshen out and do like a retreat, kind of you know, get in that zone where you know you don't have to do anything. It's nice to do that once in a while and so. But we do want to make sure our health is sound, our physical health, emotional health and our pocketbook health right. We need all of those Spiritual health, need all of those four things to be complete. So, in my opinion, that's right, it's always my opinion, it's my show, so it's my opinion, you know. Agree to disagree? All right, okay.

Speaker 1: 1:33

So I'm going to reference an article I wrote in my newsletter called Catalyst with a K out of C, and you can get that on my website. You can get that in a link. On whatever platform you're on. You get a link to it if you're on Apple, spotify or iHeartRadio or Amazon or numerous other ones, and also my website, livingyoursuccesscom, advise you to click on that link and sign up to my newsletter. This point is a monthly newsletter. Excuse me, but you know it's worth the wait, I believe Personal opinion, biased personal opinion and so I encourage you to read that and also encourage you to go on Amazon to buy my book Slaying your Dragons. I've been seeing some. I got some recent sales. Thank you, folks who are buying my book Slaying your Dragons living the life you always wanted.

Speaker 1: 2:41

I think it's more like a journey than a destination. It. I think it's more like a journey than a destination. So treat it that way and it's easier to get going right. You can only start where you're at. So you want to live the life you always wanted and you're saying, oh, I'm too old, I'm 50, 60 years old, 70. You know what? I can't bring back the past, I don't have a time machine, but and I tell myself that but you can start from where you're at and so don't beat yourself up. Create a plan. This show isn't about creating that plan now, but you can buy my book. It'll help you to say why you. Well, it'll answer that question why you? You can do it and whatever your definition of success is, you can get as far as you can get right. But what's today's show about?

Speaker 1: 3:35

I was thinking a little while ago, short while ago, about obsessions. Now, that could be good and that could be very bad. Now I'm not talking about crazy obsessions or illegal obsessions or immoral obsessions, so that's not where I'm going. So I'm thinking about I'm gonna create a oxymoron, a healthy obsession, isn't that something? So how can that be Like okay, okay.

Speaker 1: 4:07

So the question is I can address in my article do you obsess or long over anything? And that's a wide open question? It could be that blueberry muffin you've been craving for? Okay, I'm talking about myself for the past five years. How about daydreaming about a particular career? You wanted to maybe go back to school, or whether it's academic or vocational school, or learn something like computers or something like that, cybersecurity or something whatever. They say that you have a passion for it. You just obsess, thinking about it every day. Obsessed, thinking about it every day Currently, I have to admit, like I mentioned in my article, I'm obsessing with thoughts, obsessing with thoughts of prime rib, mmm juicy, especially when you turn around and see these commercials and they have the prime rib or steak.

Speaker 1: 4:59

So I have to say that was on my mind when I wrote this article. Again, it's on my mind right now while I'm sharing this with you. My loyal audience. How about Starbucks, that drink? I always hear people oh, I can't make it today, mike, without that Starbucks or whatever coffee or drink of choice. God, I don't think I'm going to make it without that. I know people that obsess over it all day long. They just can't function, according to them, without it.

Speaker 1: 5:32

But it could be a music group with some songs you like. You know how you get that song stuck in your head and you keep singing it throughout the day. Or some of you sports fanatics out there I used to be one, not anymore, but I understand, be it boxing or football, soccer, tennis, whatever it is. We can go on and on with that, with something you crave, something you desire. So it's okay to want things, as long as you keep your behavior and actions in check. Means appropriate as appropriate. Appropriate. So only those healthy-like obsessions let's tuck away for a moment while I do this podcast, safely in the sanctuary of your mind. How's that? So? It's okay to want things, it's okay. So who doesn't Never met a real person who doesn't want something? Don't you want anything? No, you know, like for Christmas or someone's birthday? No, people, you don't have to give me a thing. What do you want? I got everything. I don't want anything. Yes, you do Something.

Speaker 1: 6:56

You know life goes by in the blink of an eye. You know I reference about how this year is speeding by. Do something, man. What do you long for? No-transcript. And again, there's no right or wrong. And each year goes by, for me, that pull gets stronger and stronger of what I want to. You know it grows, gets strong in me when I said, man, I really want to do that, I want to go on that trip, I want to go back to Switzerland, I want to get that car, I want to. You know it's like a super magnet in the field of metals. You've seen a super magnet, that's just so. It cuts both ways and some people's obsession grows to nuclear level, while others just give up in despair saying hey, after year 20, I give up, I'm not getting it. They sink into this. Never going to happen, abyss, right. And I'm referencing my article that I wrote.

Speaker 1: 8:07

You can read the whole thing or you can just hear. Listen, I'm not reading it verbatim, I'm just going through some of the topics and some lines and it is straight up. So'm paraphrasing. So I do believe and I mentioned this other, another podcast a while ago, a long time ago um, life is a series of trade-offs, maybe not all the time.

Speaker 1: 8:33

Maybe you can have a go. You know this concept that you can have it all. Is it yes or no? Do you believe you can have a go? You know this concept that you can have it all. Is it yes or no? Do you believe you can have it all? And I want to say a qualified yes, even though it's a technical no, perhaps not at the same time. Perhaps one, I'm going to do this. Two, I'm going to do this three.

Speaker 1: 8:53

Maybe you can't want to do one, two, three, four, three, four, five, all at the same time, the same period of your life. So that's what I mean. It's sort of that, not to be wishy-washy yes or no? Well, technically yes, but not in the same year, like 2024. You're not going to eat your three cakes and two, three sweets, ice cream and toppings all in the same bite? Two, three sweets, ice cream and toppings all in the same bite, the same plate, the same year. So I don't think so. I don't think so and that could be challenged, and this is not omnipresent conversation or, you know, not God, but I don't believe, with quality in mind and lack of stress, that that can happen.

Speaker 1: 9:45

Can you have your career, your family, your significant other, children, a big house, a dog or whatever your animal choice? Can you do that house, the dog or whatever your animal choice? Can you do that, still be content and still be giving the focus and dedication to each in a significant way? I don't know, I don't know. What about balance? Does that even really truly exist? Maybe you can manipulate the odds, give and take. Are we cheating or giving up something to have half of something? Is that acquiescing versus all of it? If you diminish or lower your expectations, is that sort of cheating? If I just lower my expectations, now I can do all I want to do. Hmm, Argument here, here, I don't know. Is it realistic?

Speaker 1: 10:44

In many instances, we neglect one side of the coin. When we're dedicated to the other side, we neglect something. You know like oh, you're always working, you're a workaholic, you're always watching TV. You're like, oh, you're always working, you're a workaholic, you're always watching TV. You're always going drinking at the club with your friends. You're always so you're sacrificing your relationship. Is that having it all? Or, daddy, can we do this? Mommy, can we do this? No, I'm sorry, honey, we are neglect, so you're giving up something. We are neglect, so you're giving up something. So I'm going to stick to my biggest opinion. We cannot necessarily have it all the time. It does depend on the depth or category.

Speaker 1: 11:30

What we hope for, wish for, true, like I said, you could end this conversation or debate. It depends, does it Not? The pants, underwear, you know? So not that pants. So it's kind of yes or no, right? I think yes, we could have a good life, we could benefit from the world that we built, the world we created, hopefully not a fantasy world where in your fantasy world, you're doing everything. Yeah, in your dreams you can do whatever you want, but now, when you come to flesh and blood in real life, where are you? So if you accept 60% of a goal, then you have succeeded. If 60% is acceptable to you Not to be a defeatist, Definitely not trying to be a sellout.

Speaker 1: 12:29

I'm trying to be a realist. Are you killing yourself in three, four different categories to maintain that so-called balance? And again, is it truly balance or are you just trading off? So, not to be a defeatist, but at some point assuming, like me, at one point, I want to be an, be an astronaut at some point. I'm not going to outer space, I had to just accept that. And especially if you're not inclined at at math or science or flying large spaceships, okay, you're scared of flying. Okay, ain't gonna happen.

Speaker 1: 13:16

And this is not to go against the prevailing wisdom that you can be anything you want, because who's going to tell the kid, no, you can't do that, you can't do that. Either you don't know what this kid can do or not. You don't know. You don't know what you could have done had you stuck out that race and not switched and traded off, not to point fingers. But many of us have done that. We gave up the dream, whatever that was. So I want to avoid contradiction and say I'm not telling a kid, no, you'll never do this, you never do that.

Speaker 1: 13:57

I do believe many things are possible. Gave many speeches and presentations and workshops and stuff like that over the years to encourage. I've encouraged people at various ages and I'm saying this for a point, from 12-year-olds 14-year-olds high school, went into high school several and spoke into some of the churches in the community and also in community fairs, events and workshops and online presentations, and I'm not gonna tell any of those people. You're not going to live your dream or realize it. That's too. That's not up for me or you. Now, if they don't handle it or do it, I'm not going to say I told you so that'd be cruel. And I'm not going to encourage anyone to give up, to not fight for what they want.

Speaker 1: 15:07

Remember Maslow's hierarchy of needs that comes to mind, where you have to get your basic needs first. You know the food. If you don't eat food, you're dead. You're not thinking about oh, let me go to school, let me get this, let me get that. If you don't have food, it's open, you don't have clothes, you can't go walk around naked, you need shelter, all those things. Then, after you get your basic needs met, then all those wants come into play. But sometimes I need to throw.

Speaker 1: 15:37

It's not my focal point of this podcast, but I have to say some of us get off track and confuse needs and wants. They jump into the wants without satisfying all the needs. Then you get messed up. Then people start pointing fingers, blaming the man, the system, god and whatever. You jump the gun. Don't jump the gun. No matter how much someone begs you, pleads with you. If you're not ready to do whatever X is, don't do it. So this is not a proposed referendum on achieving goals or missing out on the life we desire.

Speaker 1: 16:17

We're all different. We come in a variety of colors, shapes, sizes, thoughts. We got to work on the thoughts. Sometimes we can get with so many people, so, like us, we don't hear diversity of opinion or other common, more common sense kind of things. But we'll experience different realities. No one's better, smarter or whatever. But be careful.

Speaker 1: 16:45

What you wish for Just may get it right. We should plan for the future, but we do need to live in the moment. I missed a lot in the present, present, worrying about tomorrow all the time. Now notice I said worry, plan and reason and plan and do work on the future, but don't worry about it right. We need to frame our lives in this reality. It doesn't mean you don't push through the current reality and create a new one. You should, because that means goals are met, dreams are realized, desires and hopes are met. You are a master of your world. You are a master of your world.

Speaker 1: 17:39

So as we grow, develop and age, our reality will change based on our experiences. For example, what we believe or desire at 10 years old. 10 years of age is not necessarily the same as when we turn 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 years old. There's growth, the growth People. Please continue the growth. You hear you see these romantic comedies, or see these movies, or read these books, or people leave. Well, I'm leaving. We're not the same people anymore. I grew, you stayed the same. I'm 40, you still stuck in 10 in your head. Have you had people that don't grow? Friends, family members just stay like they are. I mean just no growth whatsoever, and that's on them.

Speaker 1: 18:31

So we have a healthy obsession over something and again you can call it a goal, a dream, new Year's resolution, and you need to plan on to make it happen, work on it, put in that bucket list. Many people kick their can down the road until it may not be any road left to kick it. We die before we achieve that dream pleasantry, whatever it is, one day I'm going to do what did you say and lie about I'm going to do? Sometimes we give it up. We don't mean to lie, we don't mean to say falsehoods, but we give up. We give up with our first. We give up within ourselves and give up others outside of us.

Speaker 1: 19:17

Go eat that thing, go travel to that country, go take that class that you always want. Go do whatever it is. Go meet that person. Go exercise, I'm telling myself. Go exercise. Stop making excuses. Go love your life. Folks, do you hear me? Go love you. You don't need nobody else to love you. Go love yourself first. That's why some of y'all have a problem. You don't love yourself. You're not taking care of yourself. You gotta take care of you too. So perhaps you're not in a position today to do any of these things you want to do. Maybe you're just not Been there. Done that. You can, if you keep moving forward by taking decisive action toward that thing you desire, whatever that thing is. Spend some time focusing on your energies to achieve that goal Again.

Speaker 1: 20:20

So many times we make decisions that are contrary to what we desire, instead of remaining steadfast, allowing that burning desire to move from concept to reality. Am I speaking to someone? We trip ourselves up. You don't have to wait for someone to trip to someone. We trip ourselves up. You don't have to wait for someone to trip you up. We trip ourselves up and give up our power to ways of the world and to others.

Speaker 1: 20:43

I believe life is like a cat. What do you say, michael K? A little cat, don't? You love dogs? I love dogs. We're talking about cats now. I believe life is like a cat with nine lives, folks, when we're talking about cats now, I believe life is like a cat with nine lives. I'm preaching now when that ninth life is up, meaning you squandered it, reached our point of no return, waited too late, we kicked that can down the road. Now we can't. We are put on this earth to accomplish things in a finite period. Sorry, no immortals here, you don't live forever. Those things are up to you to decide.

Speaker 1: 21:18

At the stroke of midnight, we gain or lose for that particular day. Did we realize our goals for today, sunday? Because when the 1159 pm and the clock strikes 12 am, it's over. You get to try it tomorrow, a day that is never returning for opportunity. So this day is gone. Whatever you did, accomplished or not, is done. Stroke of midnight, so poor decisions are akin to lighting our life candles at both ends Did you hear me? The candle burns twice as fast without accomplishing our goals. Do we want that? Do you really want that? No, you don't. So what am I saying? I'm saying, at the end of the day, we are some of our choices. Okay, we're some of our choices. So I think preaching time is over.

Speaker 1: 22:15

I just want my listeners, my readers, do your healthy obsession that longing for the love of obsession is the title of this pseudo title here to do you. And so thank you for being loyal to listening to me. And you'll be hearing more new podcasts now, and I'm going to be taking periodic breaks, and when I say breaks on vacation, vacation stuff, and you know how some people take their laptop with them while I'm working well, that's not a true vacation. I'm totally zoning out and living in the moment. So, um, and I want you to do the same. So that's it. This is Michael Kane. Don't forget to buy slaying your dragons Living Life you Always Wanted on Amazon paperback, hardback or ebook. You can sign up to the newsletter at livingyoursuccesscom or in links in any of these shows. So thank you again and I appreciate all of you. Wish all of you a nice rest of the day and week. Thank you Until we meet again.