What's Your End Game?

Ever feel like life's a rollercoaster you didn't sign up for? That's exactly where we begin this heartfelt exploration of emotional resilience and relationship management.

When facing life's inevitable challenges, many of us instinctively fight against the current, creating unnecessary stress and conflict. Drawing from architectural wisdom, I explain why we need to "roll with the punches" – not by ignoring problems, but by responding to them with emotional intelligence rather than knee-jerk reactions. Just as earthquake-resistant buildings flex rather than break, we too must develop this adaptability in our daily lives.

Relationships form the cornerstone of true success, yet they're often where we struggle most. Whether it's professional connections or personal bonds, I dig into why taking responsibility for our part in conflicts matters, when to repair damaged bridges, and when to let relationships naturally conclude. The uncomfortable truth? Most of us are expendable in our professional roles, making our interpersonal skills all the more crucial for lasting success.

Before your next challenging conversation or decision, I urge you to consider your "end game" – are you seeking genuine connection and mutual benefit, or simply trying to dominate? This strategic reflection separates truly successful individuals from those merely playing at success. Remember, people invest in people, not just ideas or businesses.

Subscribe now and discover how to navigate life's challenges with grace while building the meaningful connections that lead to genuine fulfillment. And if you're ready to dive deeper, check out my book "Slaying Your Dragons: Living the Life You Always Wanted" – your guidebook to becoming the success you've always known you could be.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome Back and Introduction
• 2:09 Put Your Oxygen Mask On First
• 4:15 Rolling With Adversity
• 7:50 Taking Responsibility in Relationships
• 13:00 Creating Your Success Through Effective Relationships
• 16:15 Know Your End Game

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Well, hello there. This is Living your Success 24-7 with Michael Caine. I am back Boy. Life has been good, but it is a roller coaster, isn't it? I've been doing less podcasts the last month because my attention has been busy business stuff, but I tell you, sometimes you have to shift, you have to shift and only one person can be me, and that's me. That person is already taken. Michael Caine is already taken. This is Michael Caine. Anyway, thank you for still being loyal and downloading the podcast. It's there for listeners, new and already attached here. So please subscribe and let your family and friends know.

Speaker 1: 0:56

Hey, there's this podcast about success, and I'm like a success coach. I'm not like that's what I am, but I like it. And so to help people find their purpose, people define what makes them tick, and to be a source of encouragement I see encouragement lacking in so many people's lives. I know I had a spell where you know just wow, you know be glad to hear something positive, right and helpful too. You want to be helpful, and so that's what my goal is is to help people. And so I do self-serving here, encourage you to get my book. The e-book version is faster and the most inexpensive, so I encourage you that if you have an electronic device you can read books on. I encourage you to get Slaying your Dragons Living the Life you Always Wanted by Michael Kane, k-a-n-e. And Slaying your Dragons, and then subtitle Living the Life you Always Wanted by Michael Caine, k-a-n-e and Slaying your Dragons, and then subtitle Living the Life you Always Wanted. So I'd appreciate that. Make a good gift too. But they're paperback and hardcover bound as well, but e-book if you want to get in and out the lowest price point, I recommend that. So enough plugging myself.

Speaker 1: 2:29

How are you doing? Ask yourself that, how are you doing so many times we rely on work, direct our attention to other people. We forget us. We forget what makes us tick, what makes us thrive, what makes us survive and prosper. We forget ourselves. Have you heard it before? When you're in the airplane and they do the emergency procedures, what do they tell you to do? Put your own oxygen mask on first, right, because if you're unconscious, you're not putting it on your child or your friend or the person sitting next to you. All of you are knocked out if there's no air. And you put your mask on first. And it's not being selfish, it's being common sense and doing what you need to do. Get enough rest, get enough exercise. Watch what you eat, all those things, watch what you think.

Speaker 1: 3:26

Stinkin' thinkin' Pastor a friend of mine, told me that years ago Stinkin' thinkin' That'll hurt you, make you more sick, make it worse. Whatever's worse, it can get worse, yes, it can. So you got to change and reframe. You heard about that reframing your mind. What are you thinking? You have to be honest with yourself. Obviously, if your toe hurts, it hurts. Just saying it won't stop it from hurting. You got to do what? Take decisive, effective action.

Speaker 1: 4:00

This particular episode is about you to put yourself in a position where you can roll with it. Roll with the punches. We had an earthquake and the building is on like rollers, so it kind of rolls with going this way, rolls with instead of being in conflict, and essentially snaps in half. It just rolls. It's like rollers. I had a house like that two years ago and the owner the previous owner, he was a guru of construction and so he built that house where it would tighten up and it would roll, and so we have to do that as people.

Speaker 1: 4:57

When there's adversity, you know, let's say you're having a bad day, challenging, overwhelmed, and whatever you got to roll, say it, say it. Come on, say it with me. Roll, say it again. Roll to the left, roll to the right, roll up, Roll back, roll up, roll down. And instead of getting overly frustrated and pissed off, overly frustrated and pissed off, now acknowledge what it is.

Speaker 1: 5:30

I'm not saying to be a fool and turn your back on a real life problem. And just because you put your head in the sand when you bring it back up, that problem is still going to be here. In fact it'll be multiplied because you didn't take care of it. So please, you address it. But all I'm saying is watch the emotions and the psychology behind that. So you're well, you want to protect your mental, emotional, psychological well-being. That's all my point from your success coach here. So your life coach, success coach, whatever the names are, helpful person, that's good.

Speaker 1: 6:11

So think back to the situation where you lost it good or bad, just kind of juggling high and you ask yourself well, how could I have responded differently, better, to that adversity, to that problem, to that cancer that is trying to infiltrate? What could I have said, done better? Again, I'm not suggesting you be phony, phony, baloney, phony, but to be real, to be authentic, to accept the situation that it exists as is. And okay, after you do that, what can I change? Certain things, you can't change anything. It's out of your control. A lot of times we waste our time yes, you and I On things we cannot control, on things we can't do anything about except respond and give an opinion, and certain things you can control. And what can you do If it's an argument between you, say, you argue with one of your coworkers or a family member, whoever it is the other person, and you feel sad, sorry that you said certain unkind things.

Speaker 1: 7:38

Well, you can't take it back and say it. Well, what can you do? Can what? I know? Some of you don't want to do it. I'm not apologizing. They started it first. Well, that could be an ego thing that we have where the other person starts it. But are you suggesting I apologize first for my role in it? Well, if there's something to apologize, yes, maybe you need to do that.

Speaker 1: 8:05

It depends on how important that relationship is. Are you willing to let it go over? Something a little stupid, tiny and stupid? Now, if it's not tiny, you may need to let that relationship go. See, I'm being real authentic. Sometimes you got to let it go. What is that, elsa and Frozen? Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Sometimes you got to cut it off the umbilical cord. Let it go. What did I say? Let it go. Sometimes you got to. You got to understand what are you dealing with when you're coming upon relationships, whether it's personal or work-related relationship.

Speaker 1: 8:50

One thing I do know, and I try you can't change anybody. You could persuade people by giving a convincing argument and then they say, hey, you know what you're right, but you can't control people. That's emotional intelligence. It's hard to control yourself, let alone trying to control other people, and you say, well, I'm the boss. Well, you may be a boss of one or be an effective boss. If you think being a jackass is going to help. Oh, I said it. Some people think yelling and screaming is okay. It's never okay. I don't care what period of life, existence in 1920, 40, 60, 80, 2010, 2020, 2025, 2026 coming up where it's okay to be disrespectful and unnecessarily argumentative, unnecessarily foolish, mean evil. Can I stop now? I'm running out of adjectives. So you got to own up to your part of.

Speaker 1: 9:57

If there's any problem, issues or conflicts, you take the high road. I tell people but Mike, I can't take the high road, I can't stand it. You can't stoop down to someone else's level. You just can't. You can't Now you can, but will that improve the situation or amplify it? Now you just first you're using little pea shooters, a .22 or whatever. Now you're just taking it to a nuclear reactor level and I ask you, how did that work out? Did you burn a bridge that you're going to need that bridge later? Then that's foolish, isn't it Should have controlled yourself. Oh, there's that word're going to need that bridge later? Then that's foolish, isn't it Should have controlled yourself. Oh, there's that word control. How can I control

Speaker 1: 10:46

myself? Well, we have to all take responsibility for our actions and our comments, statements that come out of our head, our brain. Take responsibility and again, sometimes you may need to be the first mover on apologizing to keep the relationship alive and to keep. You know you can. Maybe you're in business, entrepreneurship, you're losing clients and you know they had enough of, maybe an attitude that you may have or whatever. Not saying it's you, but you have to. Again, you have to evaluate and meditate. Probably pray, yeah, pray. Some say, oh, I can't pray, there's nothing to pray to. Well, how'd that work out for you? Nothing to meditate on, nothing to think about? Well, that's your choice, it's all your choice. That's your choice, it's all your

Speaker 1: 11:40

choice. But regardless of your belief system, developing sound and relationships effective I was searching for that effective word it could be in your best interest. Nine out of ten it is. What's the opposite? Ineffective. That's not going to help anybody. Even if we're not talking business or professional, we're talking personal. Do you really want to throw a lot of grenades out and burn a lot of blow up a lot of bridges unnecessarily? Sometimes, someday in the future, you may need one of those bridges you blew up and, like I said, sometimes some of them need to go, but naturally, not artificially. Everything has a season and just make sure you know is this the season or not to move forward, to repair, to work on, to enhancing, improving that particular relationship? Again, it's all up to you. But if you want to be successful the name of the show is Living your Success you have to have effective professional work and relationships, and I would say having personal, effective relationships will help your professional

Speaker 1: 13:29

side. You know it's hard to be a Jekyll and then a Hyde at the same time with different groups of people. It can be done, but it's chaos. You really don't want a life a world of chaos, do you? I don't think so. Most normal people say no. I don't want a life a world of chaos, do you? I don't think so. Most normal people say no, I don't want any chaos in my life. Sometimes we create our own chaos, let alone other

Speaker 1: 13:53

people. Think about it. What did I do today that it could have been avoided? That would have helped my life to be that much better. Well, I could have shut up and not said this to so-and-so, or maybe I should have taken this action and thought about it fully before saying this to so-and-so. You know? So you think on what? What's the end game? Not to borrow from Marvel Cinematic Universe what's the end game? The Avengers? You got to think about that Before you start playing the game. You should know the end of that game before you even start. Well, yeah, you can do

Speaker 1: 14:39

that. When I approach someone, I say, okay, what are the possibilities? What do I want out of this? What am I trying to persuade the person, or apologize, or meet them or negotiate, or what am I trying to do? I'm trying to get money. I'm trying to get someone, or just someone's, attention for a payday later. Okay, am I trying to get a win-win or am I just trying to dominate? You got to be honest with yourself. What is your game plan? Life is a game, make no mistake. You're playing it. You're on it. In fact, if you want to stay on, what is that a goal? If this is a monopoly, you're still in the game. You're just not effective, efficient, not going nowhere, but you're still on there because things operate with or without

Speaker 1: 15:36

us. Most organizations can prosper and survive without any particular person. Most people are expendable. Don't start crying on me now. Don't say it ain't so, mr K, say it ain't so, I'm expendable. That means they can do without

Speaker 1: 15:54

me. Most generally, the answer is yes, even if you are a specialist in something. Do you think you're the only specialist? You may be the best one, but maybe they'll pick number two, number one flamed out on them. What are they supposed to do? So, anyway, I just want to sow the seeds right there for you. Sow the seeds so you can think about your relationships, and you may want to do an inventory. On the personal side mother, father, siblings, uncle, grandma, grandpa Then you have friends, a whole bunch of work friends, this friend, the bowling friend, the smoking friend, the drinking friend, this friend, or just friend, and then you have your personal relationships, could be romantic relationships, and then you have your professional, business, entrepreneur relationships. So start off with one and when you conquer that one, go to another and say, and you may, it may not be any repair work need to be done, but just enhancing or reassuring, right, just confirming. So just think about some of the things I said today and that's all part of

Speaker 1: 17:21

success. It's not just about making the Benjamins, which is making just the money. Moving on life is more than just money. It's about relationships. People want to hire you on a business level or partner with you, invest in your vision. People, they invest in people, not just real estate, not just manufacturing companies, software services or whatever it is. We attach ourselves to real life, human beings, at least for now, before AI, right Apocalypse. That's another podcast, but anyway, thank you for listening to me. I appreciate you, even though I don't know your names, and I thank you and please keep listening and pass it along this podcast for others. So I want to give you some. Keep giving you nuggets and nuggets and nuggets of information, of knowledge, and my experience as well. So that's it, my friends. It's been a pleasure. We'll talk. You will hear me soon. This is Michael Caine, living your success 24-7. Until next time, my friends, until next time, adios.